melanieb_tx (melanieb_tx) wrote,

A glimpse of royalty.

*this is from my 360 blog at but I know a couple certain people who won't read it there so I repost this here for them. And you, of course.*

Did you ever see that movie that Disney made called Anastasia?

I did.

I remember thinking how neat it would be to find out you are royalty, to be found by chance and given the opportunity to be the heiress you always were.

Sure, I knew the movie was glorified but it still sounded cool. I adored the characters red hair, the Chanel dresses the character was portrayed with in Paris, and even the romantic side. Plus the bat was cool also.

I did a little research on Anastasia and found out the true story, or two versions of the true story...and both are fairly tragic. One has Anastasia being found in a grave near the site of her family's murder...and the other has her ending up in asylum, being treated for many debilitating conditions, and dying only to be perceived as a fraud. I don't know which is the correct version. Turns out the real Romanov curse wasn't necessarily Rasputin but hemophilia.

Well, for my purposes I better stick with the fairy tale version that Disney loves to make profits from. I really don't feel like despairing, though I find her real character just as interesting as the animated one. She was a very animated young woman, according to recounts.

I'm no princess, or Grand Duchess as Anastasia was, though a few people occasionally seem to confuse me with one, an affectionate term that I allow because I know they care about me. I wish I could achieve the image or the role that goes along with their assessment of my personal qualities. Their praise is kind, though probably overstated.

I think this image appeals to me because I spent the forming years of my childhood exposed to about 200 performances of The Nutcracker, my mom being a ballet teacher. I've always found the culture interesting, I'd love to be a beautiful and graceful princess, and I'd be very happy using my position to help people and bring some joys to as many people as I could. Does that sound like a princess from a few years back?

I'm not that much a heroine, nor will I ever be...but it'd be nice to try.

As a kid growing up I somehow knew there was a princess inside of me...or at least some mirror of one...but she was locked up and imprisoned just as much as HIH Anastasia was.

Today...I feel probably just as far from princess status as I did then...but the doors are open, nothing is locked up (save my heart), and I find people I know smiling at me more and treating me as if I deserved princess status...and I must admit it feels very nice.

I hope I can someday live up to the standards people seem to think I'm deserving of.

Tags: me, russia
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